Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Pancakes & Hope

The last nine months illness has been circling my life like angry frustrated bees circling their hive on a sweltering summer day. What do I do with my hands and myself when I feel this helpless on so many fronts? I make special dog meals, meting out a bewildering and ever changing array of meds.

I buy magazines and don't read them.

I visit hospitals, doctor's and veterinarian's offices. I attend and mark every special day as though it might be Sue's last.

I drive in silence. I take pictures of the beautiful northern California sunset.

I try to live simultaneously with hope and without denial. And I make pancakes for this guy.

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